lingering love

i used to stare into those eyes thinking they were beutiful but they were cold and heartless
i use to kiss those lips not knowing they were slandering and venomous
some days i look at your picture and remember
we had so many good days but then we had our bad
i realized being with you in the end made me constantly sad
and im angry with myself for going thru what i endured
but im more so hurt that you put me thru it
lies and truths ur mind is a rubix
i couodnt figure you out and i have yet to do so
just wen i believe ive got it u change it up and switch shyt around
just when i start to hate you
you tell me u always loved me
just when i start to forget about us
you tell me u always think of me
remebering my kisses
rembering our love making
thoughts of my smile leaving your heart constantly aching
your body yearns to touch me and your heart skips a beat
but after youve said all these things i see you standing at her feet
she fuked up our happy world and the sad part is you let her
you didnt trust me enuff to give me benefit of doubt
when all along it was you who was stepping out
and now look at us
what are we now...
you told me we were forever and i believed you
you told me you loved me and i felt i needed you
some small part of me hoped that you loved me still after all that we've been thru
and even when you stared deep in my eyes and told me you did
i honestly dont know if i can believe you

college shyt

college is not for everyone let me repeat that COLLEGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. it takes a hell of a student to be motivated and dedicated to continue there schooling to a bachelors and even more so a masters. its time consuming and fustrating especially when dealing with finacial aid . i have been to 3 different universities i spent my freshman year at morgan state, sophmore at university of dc and my junior year at strayer university. now when i say i have dealt with THE WORST finacial aid reps i mean it!!!

there were so many times wen i completly just didnt have any fight left in me and said fuck school i even skipped a class or 2 or 3 lol. but at the end i kept telling myself im making a better future for me so if i suffer now i reep the benefits later. now here i am senior year i can barely believe i made it.

then lets talk about my journey here! college is full of distractions! 1.) sexy men and women everywhere from different states and countries around the world

2.) parties !!!! im talkin about every kinda party u can imagine foam parties, frat parties, parties at clubs, parties at lounges, homecoming, dorm parties, house parties and my favortie random parties on the lawn of the freshman dorm or football field lol. parties are great you meet lots of people get wasted and probably go back to your off camous apartment to have drunk sex. lol thats always great lollololol no but seriously there are so many easy distraCTIONS IN COLLEGE that u jave to constantly remind yourself what you are there for!

i suggest that if yiu are goiing away to school stay in the dorm at least freshman year im telling you its a hell of an expirence and although i am not the "roomate" type it was a great expirence and im glad to have done it. i have lots of late night dorm memories! college changed me as a person it really helped me figure out who i am and discover the adult me. i was pushed into the real world head first and i loved every minute of it looking bacl i say going to college was the best decision i ever made. i have life long friends, secondary education, i will have a degree and memories that will last a lifetime