she could be...

theres nothing in these streets for you
and theres nothing u want that i wouldnt do
so when you lay down to go to sleep
i want you to dream of you and me
when your feeling down and out
rember you have something to smile about
of all the souls in all the world
you couldnt have found a more perfect girl
someone to share your dreams
write you love poems and even sings
when you sad she can make your day
she seemingly makes all pain go away
a soft kiss on the lips and loving eyes
a menacing touch with no words rehearsed
you love her and she told you first
your futures clear with her near
so keep her close and be sincere


this poem is dedicated to my heart.... i luv u jamie :)

lingering love

i used to stare into those eyes thinking they were beutiful but they were cold and heartless
i use to kiss those lips not knowing they were slandering and venomous
some days i look at your picture and remember
we had so many good days but then we had our bad
i realized being with you in the end made me constantly sad
and im angry with myself for going thru what i endured
but im more so hurt that you put me thru it
lies and truths ur mind is a rubix
i couodnt figure you out and i have yet to do so
just wen i believe ive got it u change it up and switch shyt around
just when i start to hate you
you tell me u always loved me
just when i start to forget about us
you tell me u always think of me
remebering my kisses
rembering our love making
thoughts of my smile leaving your heart constantly aching
your body yearns to touch me and your heart skips a beat
but after youve said all these things i see you standing at her feet
she fuked up our happy world and the sad part is you let her
you didnt trust me enuff to give me benefit of doubt
when all along it was you who was stepping out
and now look at us
what are we now...
you told me we were forever and i believed you
you told me you loved me and i felt i needed you
some small part of me hoped that you loved me still after all that we've been thru
and even when you stared deep in my eyes and told me you did
i honestly dont know if i can believe you

college shyt

college is not for everyone let me repeat that COLLEGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. it takes a hell of a student to be motivated and dedicated to continue there schooling to a bachelors and even more so a masters. its time consuming and fustrating especially when dealing with finacial aid . i have been to 3 different universities i spent my freshman year at morgan state, sophmore at university of dc and my junior year at strayer university. now when i say i have dealt with THE WORST finacial aid reps i mean it!!!

there were so many times wen i completly just didnt have any fight left in me and said fuck school i even skipped a class or 2 or 3 lol. but at the end i kept telling myself im making a better future for me so if i suffer now i reep the benefits later. now here i am senior year i can barely believe i made it.

then lets talk about my journey here! college is full of distractions! 1.) sexy men and women everywhere from different states and countries around the world

2.) parties !!!! im talkin about every kinda party u can imagine foam parties, frat parties, parties at clubs, parties at lounges, homecoming, dorm parties, house parties and my favortie random parties on the lawn of the freshman dorm or football field lol. parties are great you meet lots of people get wasted and probably go back to your off camous apartment to have drunk sex. lol thats always great lollololol no but seriously there are so many easy distraCTIONS IN COLLEGE that u jave to constantly remind yourself what you are there for!

i suggest that if yiu are goiing away to school stay in the dorm at least freshman year im telling you its a hell of an expirence and although i am not the "roomate" type it was a great expirence and im glad to have done it. i have lots of late night dorm memories! college changed me as a person it really helped me figure out who i am and discover the adult me. i was pushed into the real world head first and i loved every minute of it looking bacl i say going to college was the best decision i ever made. i have life long friends, secondary education, i will have a degree and memories that will last a lifetime

forever love

everytime i see you my heart skips a beat
i seemingly freeze nothing on my body moves
except my feet they glide in your direction
even when my mind tells me to retreat
i spent 2 years in a world that revolved around you
a world i never wanted to leave
and now that were over every nigga after you
has had to compete but no one has filled your seat
its empty just like my heart
my world crashed down wen we fell apart
my pride wouldnt let me tell u i really didnt want u to go
my mouth wouldnt even say the very things that i wanted you to know
i spent moths wondering why me curled up in a dark room with my tearz drowning me
and just the thought of her being near u makes me sick
she will never love you half as much as i do
she will never touch you like i did
kiss u like i did
hold u like i did
console u like i did
i was there for you wen u were going through some of the worst shyt
and i always had your back no matter what we went through
and u had mine to and for that very reason i will always love you
it hurts to see you standing right in front of me
knowing we arent the way id want us to be
deep inside i secretly hope that we will eventually get us right
but until that day comes just know a part of me silently weeps
for you every single night
i loved u at your worst and i loved you at your best
im blinded by my htoughts of you
they never succomb to all the rest

love anomoly

It’s a thin line between love and hate
You cross it everyday
Thoughts of you constantly invading my space
How much does it take? For you to realize what you’ve done
No we weren’t perfect baby angels don’t reside on earth
But you destroyed us
You abandoned us
You left us
I tried to fix us
I tried to make it work
I tried to love u but nothing worked
I was once told “Some things aren’t meant to be”
But I always assumed that had nothing to do with you and me
I thought u were the one I had been searching for my entire life
But you were actually the type of man I will spend a lifetime running away from
That heart wrenching soul churning typa love that no woman or man ever wants to turn away from
Its bad for you but it feels so right
Wen things are going good were great when theyre bad we were worse
An unavoidable collision in front of us and we were headed that way with no obstructions In our path
I always basked in our aftermath an explosion of emotions that we’d always have
But love nun the less was visible yet it was never enuff
Love didn’t keep u home
Love didn’t make u tell her no
Love didn’t make u not break my heart
Love didn’t make u stop the tears from my eyes
And love didn’t bring you back to me
Our love was astonishing from good to worse
From better to best I always thought u and I were miles above the rest
But look what we started that we will never finish
Dreams and hopes filled with wishes
U say u love me but should I believe it?
I look into your eyes and I fade to black
I try to grasp ur words but my heart beats so loud I feel as though im def
In the end I sit and think whats left of our once great love
An anomaly of emotions
Memories to cherish
Fights to hate
Dates to rember
And a love that slowly dissenigrates

love this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUQY1UuXDqU

WHHHHHHHHHHHHYyyyyyyyy

i luv me sum nicki she badddd but what the shit where these people doing?????????

reconcilliation

im finished his image no longer pressin my existence
i did it live, luv and let go
i find comfort in knowing karma always does its job
i was a imperfectly perfect chapter but your book was flawed
when you flip through ur pages i hope you remember me
remember the tears remember the look on my face
remember the pain you caused that will never be erased
i hope it makes you feel some type of guilt
to reminisce on the once great luv u kilt
and one day when a girl breaks your heart
i hope you think of me when you feel like your worlds falling apart
I once knew this pain at your hands
feeling like i couldnt eat or sleep and would never love again
I thought you had broken me but i refuse to give you that power
because there's no time for judgment in loves final hour
just pure emotion for another human on this earth
one day i'll be whole again and i'll take my heart back
i'll smile and be fruitful
and you will feel pain back to back
the things you said will run through your mind
your mind will be clouded because time is unkind
and when you finally grow up and let go of your hurtful ways
you should just hope that someone is there to love you inspite of your less promising days
I feel like a wieght is lifted and your spell has been broken
Im getting back to me and the things i once loved
i left my thoughts of you to float in all the misguided clouds up above


this is dedicated to my ex james... i loved you , i hated you and one day i will forget you a man i was once enamored with that has hurt me more than any other man ive ever meet i will always associate your name with some type of mild regret i hope one day you see what you put me through and one day some women that you love will do this to you

time to vent...

ugggghhh okay first of all you have no right to be angry in any way shape or form cuz u cheated on me and lied to me for 2 fucking years. now a lesser woman wouldve came down to sersum quarters n stole yo ass but im workin on controlling my anger sir.... first and foremost i have the right to feel however the fuck i want about this whole situation and any opinoin i have about u i can voice via facebook or in your face.... lets get to it you are petty and childish as shyt u fucked up so i brooke up with you only to find out that u wasnt shyt all along and that i waisted 2 years of my life loving a man who couldnt keep his dick to himself and wouldnt know the truth if it sat on his face. when i tried to be nice and talk to you like i have some sense ur raunchy ass wanted to be ignorant it seems like the only way i can communicate wit u is when im cussing ur black ass out. you told me whatever happend while we were together is irrelevant because i broke up with you okay tru shyt so boo if im so fucking irrelevant than why do u feel the need to call me a bitch and say you gonna do sumthin 2 my car and all that big wild shyt????????????????????????/ hmmmmmmmmmm i know that if i feel sum1 is irrelevant ignore there ass and pretend they dont exist.... i tried to be nice and chill and tell u ima be grown and im not off no beef shyt cuz really after the age of 21 u shuldnt still be fighting with ex's over he said she said thats sum high school shyt and frankly babe its beneath me... REALLY but apparently you are childish you are 23 and you are acting like you are 16 yes you james antwane gross. it would be nice if you acted your age and not your shoe size. i mean why are u even mad???? u fucked up not that u probably even care because if u lied about a child then theres no telling what else you lied to me about shyt everything u ever told me u probably never meant. you know writing is the best way for me to get shyt out so yeah this was neccesary. what kinda grown ass man threatens to do somthing to a females care because they aint together.... im a fucking female and i dnt even go around doin shyt like that u dnt have a fucking car for me to do shyt to and if u did i wuldnt because im OVER IT. YOU and this whole situation im a good woman and i dnt need any1 to tell me that i know that but u were to busy trying to impregnate every female in the dmv to notice that so u win sum u lose sum but u aint knock me up boo so yeah i get to move on and not be attached to u for 18 years. GET OVER IT yes i came for u viz facebook 2 ur baby mother and i dnt care if u knw if i didnt want u to know i wuldnt have done it publicly DUHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have really succeded my expectations i knew you had a raunchy attitude but LMFAO u really take the cake... the audacity of you to feel as if you need some type f get back action.. hahaha i am trying not to let u get me out of my character cuz i really dont wanna have to act a fucking fool in public thats not ladylike. but we both know you have a way of pushing my buttons just enuff to the point where i wanna reach out and touch ur ass.. yeah i said it just like that day i was talking to renita and u was ear hustling.. you could make a nun curse u aint shyt in my eyes a couple of weeks ago i was boo this and boo that now im that bitch this and that bitch that...lololol by the way thats so disrespectful who the fuck taught u this shyt... oh yeah u did mmmmmmmm enuff said well sir im done venting and i just want you to know that niggas like you are the reason why females go gay!!!!!! and the reason why so many grown ass women feel the need to say niggas aint shyt but i know better all niggas arent the same and in my eyes u just aint shyt i cant believe i ever loved you. now i just want to hate you for all the bullshyt u have done and the drama that u are keeping alive. I am doing an immaculent job at keeping my self composed and controlling my temper but bitch dnt tempt me.... seriously let me be irrelevant to you and get the fuck on wit ur life im pretty sure you got some bait to tell lies to so go live ur life and ima live mine..... MIZZEZ MOCHA

love? lost

u were suppose 2 be the one but u hurt me
and after all that weve been thru u deserted me
i loved u to much at times
i never thought things would end like this
i spend everyday rembering what happend, things u said things u did
i never imagined life without u would hurt this bad
and i dnt wana wake up everyday feeling this sad
everyone has an opinion on how we should be
but the fuked up thing is u wont even listen 2 me
wont take my calls wont look me in the eyes
i always thought u were different than all the other guys
lately im feeling like ur just like the others do me wrong then leave
but just like the rest someday you'll be back
and if i no longer feel the way i do now you'll spend a lifetime of regret after that
i never thought u were the type of man to lie to my face
tell me you love me yet i was so easily replaced
in the end people always seem to rember the beginning
at first it was so perfect, we were so perfect and now im finding out it was all a lie
it was wrong form the start you fucked around with my heart
and now you tell me " you have no words"
well why the hell not?
you should have alot of things to say how bout im sorry for starters???
sorry for lying
sorry for hurting you
sorry for stringing you along when i was doing wrong
sorry for wasting 2 years of your life
sorry for telling you i love you and painting a picture of our future when i knew we never had one
sorry for ever speaking to you in the first place
everyday i think of you and i wish we never meet
you have givin me so many things to regret
I feel so stupid for falling so deeply in love
now i have so many things wondering thru my mind that i barely sleep at night
did you ever really love me?
did you ever give a fuck?
was i one in ten?
was anything you said true?
did u ever love me as much as i loved you?
i guess my questions will never be answered
and i cant understand
how could i not see the character of this man
and despite all the things that i now know some small part of me wished it wasnt true
some small part of me kept screaming "NO NOT YOU..."
i never saw this coming and it hit me hard as hell
nothing like a bitch slap into reality to make you see things clear
i was blind for love for to damn long
you taught me a good lesson babe
and i'll rember you when ur gone


this poem is dedicated to james gross a.k.a. noonie my ex thank you for showing me that even the things that are right in front of us can be tainted and love acts as rose colored glasses a person can only hide who they are for so long sooner or later you true colors will show and yours did and now im gonna take these past 2 years as a good lesson learned...
1.)never give more than you get
2.)never put all of you into a relationship
3.)your instincts are your best asset
4.)never be a fool for love cuz it may end up fooling you
5.) sometimes the things we want the most arent good for us
6.) if its broken there is only so many times you can try to fix it until you realize its broken beyond repair thanks james for helping me realize that i dont ever wanna fall in love again....